Instead of trying to scare people with April Fools jokes, we figured we’d be upfront about making up five fake stories about the Buckeyes.
We have made it through the first three months of 2025, and it is now April 1, or the worst day of the year to try and take anyone seriously. Since it is April Fool’s Day, you have to take anything you hear today with a grain of salt, since it likely is really just someone trying to pull a prank on you. If only every prank today were as innocent as Cardale Jones’ “May Fools” transfer prank back in 2015, but unfortunately, these days it is hard to tell what is a joke and what is reality, considering what is going on with *waves arms at everything*.
Toda,y I’m going to have a little fun with April Fool’s Day and come up with five announcements that would be tough for Ohio State fans to stomach, much like how Jones made Buckeye Nation freak out for a few seconds when he said he was transferring to Akron. At least you know heading into them that they aren’t real! At least I hope they aren’t real, or these jokes don’t give any ideas to those in charge.
Ohio State football playing only noon games in the 2025 season
Hoping for the clash between Texas and Ohio State to be under the lights at Ohio Stadium? Think again! Have fun cooking in the sun when it’ll likely be 85-90 degrees that afternoon. After playing so many noon games in 2024, Ohio State and FOX decided that they might as well just go ahead and make the Buckeyes the ambassadors of noon. Why would you want to put a rematch of a College Football Playoff semifinal on in primetime? Gotta get it out of the way early in the day!
Who cares that noon games make it tougher for recruits from out of state who play Friday night football games to get to Columbus in time to take in a game? Recruits just have to take a leap of faith and commit to Ohio State. If it doesn’t work out, there is always the transfer portal.
The more people hate noon games, the more they’ll stay home and watch on TV and drive up the ratings! Besides, FOX and their Big Noon Kickoff is just looking out for fans since ticket prices have gotten out of control. Just think of how much money they’ll save by not going to noon games! Plus, your body will thank you since lines for the bathroom are a lot more manageable when watching at home.
Jeremiah Smith announces he is transferring to Michigan
Even before the college football season ended, there were rumblings that Jeremiah Smith would be targeted by numerous programs in the transfer portal. While Miami somehow wasn’t able to pony up enough money to lure Smith back to the area where he grew up, Michigan was able to convince Smith to switch sides in the rivalry. Apparently, teaming up with Bryce Underwood was too much to pass up after Smith realized just how rough life after Will Howard would be.
Despite winning a national title in his first year in college, it looks like Smith just wants to be on the winning side of the Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. The Wolverines have won four straight against the Buckeyes. Judging by this move, Smith doesn’t think Ryan Day and Ohio State have what it takes to snap their losing streak against That Team Up North anytime soon.
Following a down year in his first season as head coach of Michigan, it looks like Sherrone Moore is channeling his inner-Harbaugh when it comes to cheating and tampering.
Ohio State building new football stadium in Dublin’s Bridge Park
Ohio Stadium is over 100 years old and getting older by the day. It’s time for the university to start looking towards the future. Since every other business in Columbus seems to have announced they are moving to Dublin’s Bridge Park, Ohio State decided that area will be the home for the stadium that will replace Ohio Stadium. Just think of how close the stadium will be to Urban Meyer’s Pint House!
Photo by Jason Mowry/Getty Images
Once the new Ohio Stadium is opened at Bridge Park, the decrepit stadium the team currently plays in will be torn down, and more apartment and mixed-use buildings will be built in its place, since if there is anything Columbus doesn’t have enough of it is apartment and mixed-use buildings. It’s just too bad Tennessee couldn’t beat Ohio State back in December because they could have started the demolition process by floating the goal posts down the Olentangy River.
Jake Diebler given 10-year contract extension by Ohio State
What more can you say about the first full season as Ohio State head coach for Jake Diebler? A limited stay in the Big Ten Tournament and no postseason basketball for the program. It’s just what the doctor ordered after Buckeye fans are just now recovering from the championship playoff run by the football team.
Plus, there was the whole NHL Stadium Series game for people in Columbus to care about, so Diebler was 10/10 on making sure nobody invested too much into the basketball team this year.
Just look at the rest of the Big Ten. Maryland just lost Kevin Williard to Villanova. Iowa, Minnesota, and Indiana all fired their coaches. Ohio State knew they needed to lock up their guy as soon as possible.
Who cares if he is the right man for the job, he is a body and not that expensive. With how many resources the school is sinking into the football program, we can’t have a successful football team AND basketball team. That’s just too much to care about. Besides, if we need a basketball team to consistently lose before the first weekend of the NCAA Tournament is over, the women’s basketball team has shown they can fill that role.
Nadine Muzerall joining Columbus Blue Jackets coaching staff
What more can Ohio State women’s ice hockey coach Nadine Muzerall accomplish with the program? Under Muzerall, the Buckeyes have won two national titles and made a couple of other trips to the Frozen Four. Muzerall has turned the Buckeyes into a powerhouse in women’s college hockey, so naturally, it is time for her to take a leap to the professional level.
Photo by Bailey Hillesheim/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images
The Blue Jackets aren’t replacing current head coach Dean Evason since he has done a great job in his first season in Columbus, especially considering the difficult circumstances he has had to deal with following the death of Johnny Gaudreau.
Muzerall will be an assistant on Evason’s staff, as she was brought in to teach this team to win in games where it truly matters. The Blue Jackets have so little postseason success that they needed to find someone with some wins in the playoff games to pass along some of the tricks of the trade.
The move might have been made a little too late to push Columbus into the playoffs this year, but next year, with a full season to work with Muzerall, it is going to be hard to imagine anybody beating the Blue Jackets in the playoffs. Fire the cannon!